Lately I have been praying “God, please show me how to encourage and support my husband.” But instead of becoming a better encourager, I found myself growing increasingly annoyed by Brandon’s shortcomings. For example, Brandon has never been one for details or organization. I, on the other hand, tend to be much more detail oriented and organized. So it drives me nuts when I’m the one who sees all the housework that has to be done, bills to be paid, things to be fixed. Thankfully, if I give Brandon a to-do list, he is faithful to complete the tasks on the list. But honestly! How hard is it to see that the laundry basket is overflowing?
Anyway, as I prayed “God, please show me how to love my husband better” I seemed to only take steps backwards as I grumbled and complained about all the things Brandon did that annoyed me. I found myself praying “God, help me to be an encouragement to Brandon. By the way, he is really, really, REALLY annoying me! I don’t know why he can’t by more XYZ…. Please fix my husband. Amen.”
Alas, instead of fixing my husband, God chose to fix me. This week, God revealed to me how part of being an encouragement and a support to my husband is overlooking imperfections. Dwelling on the things that annoy me is the opposite of encouraging. In fact, part of being an encourager is cheering Brandon on when he is struggling, and supporting him through his trials and imperfections. I can’t just encourage him when things are doing well because the times we need encouragement is when we are struggling!
Everything would be so much easier if we were all perfect. But until that day comes, we must continue to strive together, build one another up, and pray that we don’t kill each other in the process!