Two Months and Counting!

Yesterday Job turned ten weeks old!  I can’t believe that a little over two months ago, Job was just in my tummy.  And this time last year he didn’t even exist!  He is just so much a part of our family that it’s hard to imagine a time before Job.  It just seems like he’s always been with us.

I was thinking today about how fearful I was during my pregnancy about whether or not I would be happy being a mother.  During my pregnancy, it was difficult for me to see the joy in motherhood because I felt surrounded by women who yelled at their kids in Wal-Mart, complained about sleepless nights, and groaned about changing diapers.  I was frequently warned to enjoy my sleep while I could because in a few months I would only be able to enjoy big, dark circles under my eyes.  I just did not feel very encouraged on the path to motherhood.

I worried about loosing the comforts of life, like sleeping in (or sleeping at all!), enjoying peaceful hours in a coffee shop, or spontaneous dates with my husband.  A baby would require 24/7 attention which could negate sleep, going out would require extra prep time plus time and attention at the destination which robbed me of my peaceful hours in a coffee shop, and there could no longer be spontaneous dates because a baby required a baby sitter thus canceling out the spontaneous part of a spontaneous date.  Motherhood just didn’t sound like a lot of fun.

Not only that, but I thought about all the time I poured into my various endeavors, whether it by my job, my hobbies, or my marriage.  Much of this time would now need to be poured into caring for a baby, which I did not feel encouraged in nor did it sound like fun.

So I worried and struggled with fear and anxiety over the future of my life and marriage.  But it was my selfishness that caused my fear.  I was focused on what I would be loosing, not what I would be gaining, and I felt that my happiness was dependent on how much time I could spend on me and my desires.

And then at 5:01 on August 23rd, Job Edward Coble arrived, and no longer could I fear motherhood, I had to face it.

The first few weeks were hard.  I cried because I wanted to sleep for more than two hours at a time, I hated nursing because it was so painful, and I struggled with the changing dynamics with my husband.  But gradually things started to fall into place.  Job started sleeping for longer stretches, nursing began to feel more natural, and Brandon and I adjusted.

I can’t say that I love changing dirty diapers, or that I don’t mind missing out on my coffee shop visits.  It would definitely be nice to be able to take those spontaneous dates with Brandon, or at least cuddle on the couch without a crying baby!  I don’t have the time or energy to spend on some of my hobbies, and my career is even changing as I consider just being at home with my baby.  But at the same time, I’m so much happier and so much more fulfilled than before.  My joy is increased through the care and nurture of this little life, my little baby.

I think it’s because God has wired to find far more fulfillment in service to others rather than serving ourselves.  Jesus said it best when He said in Matthew 10:39, “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”  I’m so thankful that I didn’t just allow my fears of motherhood to overwhelm me and keep me from becoming a mother.  Or rather I should say, I’m so thankful that God enabled me to walk through the door of motherhood so that I could experience more blessings than I thought possible.

Here are some pictures of Job.  He is still just a little guy, but growing every day!  Last week he was 10lb 11oz and 21 3/4 inches tall.

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7 Responses to Two Months and Counting!

  1. Evie says:

    Laura, I think that you put the summation of motherhood into words much more eloquently than I ever could have! Everything you wrote seems like it was coming from my heart last year.

    As an encouragement, motherhood is DEFINITELY a blessing and don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise!

    I always think about the kings in the Bible… Do you ever notice how their mothers are often listed? I always think about how little influence their father’s probably had on their lives–being the previous king, having lots of concubines and wives (and children), off at war–but their mother, they had the opportunity to raise either a God-fearing or evil king. Wow.

  2. Natalie says:

    Thanks for telling us how you are feeling about everything! :o) It is amazing how many people are fearful of being moms, even if they might not call it that… I was a lot, too, and boy, do I ever LOVE it now! God definitely gives us the strength to go through wherever He takes us!

  3. Jaymie says:

    Life with a baby is definately different but well worth it! Love the pictures, he’s getting so big!

  4. Ashley says:

    Thanks so much, Laura! He is so handsome! He got the best of both of you 😉 I’m really encouraged by your thoughts. I honestly feel being a Mom is what I was created to do. It is really tough these first few weeks. I look forward to getting through this transition of seasons of life and into the groove of mommy-hood like you’ve described.

  5. amber slaughter says:

    I got teary-eyed! you are such a great writer–thanks for sharing! It’s exactly how I feel too (and NEVER thought that I would) about mommyhood! Love you!

  6. Og says:

    I loved seeing these pics of Job. He is soooooooo adorable. I can’t wait to hold him again. I am glad to hear that you all are adjusting to life with little Job, and it reveals God’s ability to bless us even when we are feeling overwhelmed. You and Brandon are wonderful parents and Job is going to have a special life because of that. Hope you guys are getting established in Oregon and are content for now, knowing it is but a season of life. We love you and miss you. Blessings, Og

  7. Elisabeth says:

    Oh, my stars, that is one cute baby!

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